Every time I walk through the front door, my golden retriever (Sampson) runs around the house frantically until he finds a sock to bring me. His preference is one of my slipper socks, but he will settle for any sock. I’m not sure why he needs to do this, but it’s incredibly important to him. As soon as he gets the sock (or socks) in his mouth, he gets this look of relief. It’s like pure joy. In general, he is a happier dog when he has some socks in his mouth. I’ve read some theories as to why this is. It doesn’t seem to have anything to do with chewing as he never eats the socks. Just carries them in his mouth. It could have something to do with our scents and the comfort he gets from that. I don’t think he thinks it’s a game in which he gets attention since we are all so used to it that no one really reacts to the socks in his mouth anymore except when he occasionally snags an expensive or coveted one. I’ve come to the conclusion that it doesn’t really matter why he has this compulsion. He feels the need to do it and it makes him super happy…so I wonder what things are like that with people. With me. What things in my life am I just inherently and inexplicably meant to do that give me pure joy like Sampson and his socks?
Maybe the easiest way to narrow down what I am meant to do is by weeding out the things I know I am not meant to do. There are plenty of things that might feel good for a minute, but ultimately make me less happy. Being lazy, eating junk food, staring at my phone or the TV for a long time. Don’t get me wrong. I have my moments. And these things can be ok sometimes…if I’ve earned them. Taking breaks and relaxing is necessary. But it’s not what gives me joy. It’s most likely the recovery I need from whatever I did that gave me joy. I think we are meant to be healthy and fit. Our bodies are these amazing machines that are capable of doing incredible things. I don’t know why we would be capable of doing these things if we weren’t meant to. Just like we’re built to learn. It doesn’t make sense that we would be born with not just the ability to take in information, but the persistent interest and curiosity to desire it if we were not meant to continue learning for our whole lives.
As for specific things that make me feel total joy, well I think these things may be specific to each person. The things that I love to do and I find relaxing and fulfilling might not cut it for someone else. And vice versa. I know that I love running. I get into this place that is like a clarity. I feel at peace and I can do my best thinking. If I know that I have some things weighing on my mind, I go for a nice long run to figure it out. Something like swimming is in the same vein…but not for me. There are people who get very relaxed while they are swimming whereas I generally experience the exact opposite of that. It feels closer to a frantic fight for my life while simultaneously getting extremely frustrated with myself for not being able to do it correctly or being able to shake the feeling of panic. Other sources of joy are more in the creative realm. Music, art, etc. I love sewing, cooking and coloring with colored pencils. I cannot knit and I’m not particularly into drawing, although those may seem similar to my interests. I have no musical talent whatsoever. The point is that we all have something, probably a few things, that we seem to be meant to do. And these things that we seem inherently meant to do seem to be really good for our minds or bodies. We’re improving ourselves while simultaneously bringing more joy into our lives. And that joy leads to an overall sense of happiness and peace. I think if we watch for these things that lead us to this feeling of fulfilling our purpose, we can assume we are on the right path to leading the life we were meant to. And we can assume that we are all meant to grow and learn for our entire lives.
Maybe it’s easier for dogs to know what they’re meant to do because they have fewer options. We have a lot of choices to sift through. And we like to analyze. Dogs, and Sampson in particular, are not generally analytical. From what I have seen, Sampson is not at all discriminate about what he puts in his mouth. And to describe his behavior as impulsive would be a gross understatement. Maybe the fact that it’s our socks that he eats is what matters. Not something random. They smell like his people. And we all seem to desire connection. It’s part of our chemical makeup as mammals. The socks make him feel connected to his people. And we do seem to live more fulfilling lives when we share them with others. We’re clearly meant to spend time with our families and friends. But relationships are complicated. Trying to find the balance of the give and take of a relationship is so tricky. Yet somehow, not at all for dogs. They are our loyal companions. They just love. I think that is something I overthink and overcomplicate. I don’t just love. I analyze and carefully consider who I love and why. And how I will show it. And if I will show it. I think I would be a lot happier if I took a cue from Sampson and simplified. He overthinks nothing. I think it is our purpose to be kind and loving to others. Starting with our friends and families, but including strangers too. And the way to remove the analytical element is to remove the idea that there will be balance. Expect nothing in return. Such a hard concept for me after so many years of thinking that you get what you give. Like I’ve earned the right to be treated nicely because I did something nice. It probably does all turn out ok. But maybe the reward is really in the act. If I’m kind and loving to others, I’ll feel good because I was kind and loving to others. Not because they were kind and loving back. The joy is in the act and not in the response.
I’ve been learning a lot recently about the importance of giving back and volunteering my time. I’m realizing that the greatest gift I have are my own experiences. Not because they are my memories to hold, but because I have them to share. This is how we inspire one another to keep going. Being an example or a testament to what is possible is perhaps the greatest reward we can get in our lives. That is how you know for sure that you are giving back to the world and making it a better place. When we’re constantly trying to grow and learn and improve and are sharing ourselves and our knowledge and our experiences in a kind and loving way, we are living our purpose. We have meaning. Love really is everything. And love is an action. Love is greeting your best friend at the door with their sock in your mouth.
